


Bloom

by quellthefire



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 15 year old Tony, 17 year old Rhodey, Angst, Best Friends, Classic Rock, College Roommates, Fluffy Ending, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, MIT Tony & Rhodey, Music Nerds, Nerd boys, Pining, secretly in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 07:54:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17914850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quellthefire/pseuds/quellthefire
Summary: “They were standing outside of Burton Conner, the MIT dormitory Tony was going to live in for the next year, and he was terrified. Not of the classes, or the material he’d be learning. He was scared shitless of the other people there.”Tony is starting at MIT, and is absolutely terrified of having to make friends. And then he meets his roommate, Rhodey. They quickly become best friends, but Tony wishes they could be more.





	1. Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution

**Author's Note:**

> I normally wouldn’t write underage Tony, but in order for the timeline to make sense, I felt like I had to put him at 15 to keep in line with canon. 
> 
> I get that that may not be to everyone’s taste, but I’m pretty damn proud of this story.
> 
> Chapter title is from the AC/DC song

“Be you. No one else can.”

The words echoed in Tony’s mind, his heart pounding. He could feel his face flushing, certain the other students would notice. 

Edwin Jarvis, the closet thing Tony had to a real dad growing up, repeated the words. They were standing outside of Burton Conner, the MIT dormitory Tony was going to live in for the next year, and he was terrified. Not of the classes, or the material he’d be learning. He was scared shitless of the other people there.

He had been thrilled to get accepted, especially at such a young age, and practically vibrated with excitement when he got to pick his classes, but then the move-in date came, and Tony realized he’d have to actually room with a stranger. Someone who was older and probably didn’t want to have a 15 year old kid for a roommate. 

He was going to be younger than anybody there, and they’d probably hate him for it. And everyone in his classes would probably wonder what he was doing there. He looked younger than everyone, if only by a few years. 

What did college students even talk about? He’d spent most of his life alone in his bedroom building things, and had never really cared to get to know other kids. But now he’d be forced to interact with other people. He wished he’d spent a little less time fiddling with wires and more time learning how to make small talk with strangers. 

But Jarvis had pulled him aside, looked him dead in the eyes and said “Be you. No one else can.”

And he’d carried those words with him as he walked in, a mantra that he’d never say aloud.

It thrummed in his mind as he carried his bags and boxes up three flights of stairs, past the common area and down the hall to room 326. He had piled his stuff up in front of the door, putting off going inside until everything was brought up. Tony slotted the key into place, opened the maple door and discovered it was empty, save for two standard-issue beds, desks and chairs. There was a tiny window, and a single light bulb. 

He tried to steady his breathing, he could do this. But he hadn’t expected to be the first one in, and the pressure of choosing a bed was too much. Tony stood in the middle of the drab room, unsure of what to do. After a few long moments, he started moving his stuff to the far side of the room, away from the door. 

He hadn’t brought much, to be honest. A handful of outfits, mostly baggy hoodies and shirts. A few boxes of his favorite books, and some in-progress prototypes. The rest were boxes of albums, and an old record player he’d snagged from the attic a few years ago. The albums were his most prized possessions, and he was intensely proud of the collection he’d built over the past few years. Tony set the record player up on his desk, and sorted through his box of favorites. He needed something good to unpack to. He decided on Dire Straits’ ‘Brothers In Arms’ and queued up the first song, placing the needle. A lilting guitar echoed in the empty room, followed by drums and synth. 

He settled into unpacking, humming along with each song, occasionally singing along to the parts he knew best.

Tony just had his clothes left to put away when he heard the door click open, and suddenly there was a tall skinny boy standing in the doorway, holding a massive duffel bag over one shoulder. He had deep brown skin, and his hair was cut short. He looked just as nervous as Tony felt. 

The boy jutted his hand out awkwardly, even though Tony was ten feet away from him. “Hi, I’m Rhodey. Well, James Rhodes, but no one calls me James.” He realized Tony was too far away to shake his hand, and shoved it in his pocket, looking embarrassed. 

Tony waved from his desk, feeling heat rise up his neck. This guy was gorgeous, in a nerdy, self conscious kind of way. “Tony, uh, Tony Stark. Nice to meet you.”

Rhodey nodded, and seemed to finally register that there was music playing. He nodded towards the record player and said, “I love this album. Please tell me you like Cream too.”

He grinned, surprised. “Eric Clapton is practically a god.”

Rhodey smiled too, broad and easy, and tossed his bag onto the bed opposite Tony’s. “I have a feeling we’re gonna get along great.” 

And they did. They compared record collections as Rhodey unpacked. His was much smaller than Tony’s, but had some really rare ones Tony was in awe of. They spent their first night rambling about the genius of Led Zeppelin and Queen and AC/DC over crappy delivery pizza. 

Classes started up, and it turned out that they shared a lecture, Circuits and Electronics at 8 a.m. in Fairchild Building. They would walk together, often debating if Sabbath was better with Ozzy or Dio, or brainstorming for their end of semester projects. 

Rhodey made Tony feel safe, and Tony had finally started to feel like he had a home. There were so many nights in the first months that they’d lie in their beds on opposite sides of their tiny room, listening to records in the dark. 

Rhodey would tell Tony about his life back home, the friends that he missed, the girls he’d had crushes on, and Tony would talk about what it was like to raised by people paid to like you, and how his father loved the company more than his own son. 

He tried to keep it light, would make sarcastic jokes about having daddy issues, but Rhodey was always there to listen. He never teased Tony about being rich or privileged or two years younger, and he stood up for him if one of their classmates tried to. 

Some nights they’d even talk about the future. Rhodey wanted to go work for the government, developing better technology for military aircraft. Tony didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he knew for sure that running Stark Industries was not on that list. 

And then there were the rare nights where they’d lie in the dark and Rhodey would tell Tony about how scared he was. That he was terrified of dying before he’d done something that truly mattered. That was scared he’d never fall in love. 

And Tony would stay silent, petrified of what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell Rhodey that he’d already done something that mattered. He’d changed Tony’s life. He’d given him a home in their 12x15 foot room, and had been the first true friend Tony had ever had. 

As for the falling in love, Tony knew it wasn't fair to feel the way he did. Rhodey deserved someone who didn’t come with a mountain of baggage or such a fucked up family life. Besides, he’d only ever talked about girls he liked. So Tony shoved those thoughts about how good Rhodey looked in that grey shirt that was just a little too tight, or the way his face lit up when he laughed at one of their inside jokes, deep deep down. He told himself that they were friends. Best buddies. That it wasn’t worth fucking up the good thing they had just cause he was horny and lonely. But sometimes, late at night when he could hear a soft steady stream of breathing from the other side of the room, he’d let himself think about what it would be like to touch him. Or how his lips would feel caressing his neck. Or how much he wanted to grind up against him and beg for release. 

But he couldn’t say any of that. Couldn’t let Rhodey know how much he ached to be held by him. So instead he tried to content himself with shared meals and late night trips to the local supermarket, and their conversations in the pitch black dorm room to the soundtrack of classic rock.

Months went by, and Tony was excelling in his classes. He’d passed his midterms with flying colors and one of his professors was even talking about taking him on as an undergraduate assistant in his lab. 

Tony had found a comfortable routine, but he still felt the pangs of loneliness. He loved Rhodey, but he knew he’d never be able to receive that same love back. 

When it grew too much to bear, he started writing it all down in a notebook. Some nights he’d scribble for hours, pretending to be working out a particularly complicated math problem so as to not rouse Rhodey’s suspicion. But other nights he just stared at the page, and would write something like, ‘I’m afraid I’m not good enough to be loved,’ or, ‘It’s a good thing dad gave up on me years ago, because he’d be so disappointed if he knew his only son liked men.’ It was an exercise in self harm, he realized. It didn’t make him feel better to put those awful thoughts down on paper, but it made him feel different. Helped put them out of his mind for brief moments. It was worth the pain of seeing his doubts and fears laid out so clearly before him. 

Mostly, though, Tony wrote about Rhodey. About how he looked when he was sleepy from a late night, or the way he jiggled his leg anxiously when he was worried about an exam score.

He’d spent months studying Rhodey’s every smile, and Tony felt like that carefree laugh of his was implanted into his mind forever. 

They were nearing the end of the semester, and Tony had been spending a lot more time at the library. One of his professors had tacked on a last minute research project and the class was scrambling to get it done in time. It wasn’t fair, but so much of Tony’s life hadn’t been fair, so what was one more school project to him? 

He looked forward to coming home on those late nights. Rhodey would look up as he opened the door, and give him an easy grin and tell him he looked like shit. And Tony would laugh and tell him he should be nicer because Tony was the only cool person in this den of nerds. 

And they’d munch on chips and put on some AC/DC and gripe about the try-hards in their 8 a.m. lecture class. 

And Tony would fall asleep thinking about how much he wanted to crawl into the bed opposite his and just lay next to Rhodey.


	2. Can’t Fight This Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony fucks up and Rhodey finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from the classic REO Speedwagon song. 
> 
> Buckle up kiddos, cause this is an angsty chapter that turns real sweet and comforting.

Winter break came, and Rhodey was packing to head back to Philly for the couple of weeks they had off from school. Tony was taking a train back to Manhattan, to an empty mansion. His parents had gone on vacation to Europe two weeks prior and wouldn’t be back until school was back in session. They’d given Jarvis the month off, so he’d traveled to visit family for the holidays. 

Tony hadn’t told Rhodey that he had nothing but silent hallways and cold tile to greet him back home. He knew it would make Rhodey insist he come stay in Philly over break, and he couldn’t handle being in Rhodey’s childhood home, pining for a boy who didn’t love him. 

So he kept his answers vague when Rhodey asked about his holiday plans, and hoped to god that Rhodey didn’t pick up on the way he’d try to change the subject. 

Tony was frantically trying to pack up his stuff for the trip, frustrated that he couldn’t find his final project notes for his Electromagnetics and Applications class. He’d promised the teacher that he’d continue developing the idea and come back after break to present his work. If it went well, the professor wanted to help him get a research grant for the project. 

“It has a red cover, and it’s spiral bound and I need to find it!” Tony huffed as he tore through his backpack for the fourth time. 

Rhodey was trying to help, but looked lost as he sifted through piles of textbooks and papers. “Did you check the study room? You were down there this afternoon.”

Tony gave him an exasperated expression and said, “No, of course I didn’t, because that would be a reasonable and logical thing to do, and I am neither.”

Rhodey grinned and pushed him out the door. “Go check, and I’ll keep looking in here. We’ll find it, I promise.”

Tony made it to the basement study room, found that it was utterly empty, and walked back up the four flights of stairs to his floor. He could see down the hall enough to see their door half open, the soft melody of REO Speedwagon trailing out. 

He kicked the door fully open as he proclaimed, “The study room was as empty as your social life. Please tell me you found—.” 

And Tony froze, staring at his best friend. His only friend, who was holding open a spiral bound notebook with a red cover, reading it with a look of confusion. 

And then Tony turned around and ran. He darted down the hallway, slamming into the door for the emergency stairway, and took the steps two at a time. 

The notebook Rhodey had found, it wasn’t the project notebook. It was the one Tony had spent months pouring his heart into. The one that Tony chronicled his childhood trauma and his secret desires for his best friend in. 

God. What had he read? Did he get to the part where Tony imagined what it would be like to kiss him goodnight? Or what about the pages he’d devoted to how much he wanted to suck his cock until he was screaming Tony’s name? 

Tony could hardly breathe now, lungs straining for air. He didn’t know if it was from running down three flights of stairs or the sheer panic he felt from seeing Rhodey holding that goddamn notebook. 

Stupid. He was so fucking stupid. He should have kept those thoughts to himself. He never should have put them down on paper where anyone could find them. Where Rhodey could, no, did, discover them. 

And what was going through Rhodey’s head? Did he feel betrayed by Tony’s desire? Was he disgusted about spending the last 5 months sleeping in the same room as a boy who had such vulgar thoughts about him? He was going to lose Rhodey. He was going to lose the only friend he’d ever had and it was all because he was an idiot who didn’t know how to keep his thoughts to himself. 

Tony gasping for air, leaned against the railing at the bottom of the stairway. He couldn’t push the door to get outside because it would sound an alarm, but there was no way in hell he was going back up. So he decided to stay there until he could think of a better solution. 

His mind was racing, thoughts of his dad’s disappointment mixing with the image of Rhodey reading his deepest secrets. He didn’t know what to, how to fix this, he—

“Tony? Are you down here?” He could hear Rhodey’s voice echoing down the flights of stairs. 

Part of him wanted to burst through the exit door, alarms be damned. But he knew that was a stupid plan, and so he stood there, unmoving and his heart hammering. 

He could hear Rhodey’s careful footsteps as he came closer and closer to the bottom of the stairs. 

Tony felt tears stream down his face, and turned to hide himself, facing the wall so he wouldn’t have to face his friend. Ex-friend, he reminded himself. 

“Tony,” Rhodey said softly, as he reached the bottom. “Are you okay?”

Tony sniffled, mortified that he was crying. His head was resting on the cool surface of the wall, and it felt good. Like it was the only thing grounding him in this moment. 

“Tony,” Rhodey said again, this time reaching out to touch his shoulder. It was gentle, and kind. And it made Tony’s heart break even more. Rhodey felt sorry for him, he thought. He pitied him, that’s all. 

“I— I didn’t know. I didn’t know that’s how you felt about me. I’m sorry I accidentally read your notebook, but Tony. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?” Rhodey’s voice was small and hesitant. 

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to hate me. You’re the only friend I’ve ever had and the thought of losing you fucking terrifies me.” Tony knew his voice was cracking as he said it, and he let the tears fall freely now. 

“You never told me. You never gave me a chance to—.”

But Tony cut him off, turning viciously to scoff at what Rhodey was saying. 

“Never gave you a chance to what? Realize that I’m a fucking queer? Well guess what, you’ve been living with a fag for months. Do you wanna kick my ass or something?” Tony spat the words out like acid, feeling lightheaded. This was all too much. 

Rhodey looked wounded; sadness and confusion searing across his face. “Tony, what are you talking about? Why would I—?”

“Because I’ve spent the last five months falling in love with you and I know you don’t—.” 

He was cut off when Rhodey grabbed him and kissed him. It was warm, and wet, and firm. And Tony’s brain was going haywire. He couldn’t process this turn of events, and all he knew was that Rhodey was kissing him. 

He’d spent so many nights imagining their first kiss. This was so much better than all of those. 

Finally they broke apart, both gasping for air, and Tony could see tears in his friend’s eyes. 

“You never gave me the chance to love you back,” Rhodey said quietly. “I didn’t know you felt the same way.”

Tony could hear ringing in his ears, was this actually happening, was Rhodey actually saying he loved him?

And then Rhodey was hugging Tony, clutching him tightly. His head was pressed into Tony’s neck and it felt like they were holding each other up. 

“You love me?” Tony finally said, his brain beginning to catch up to everything that had just happened. 

“I love you. I’ve known it for ages. Hell, I think I fell in love that very first night. You were so insistent that ‘Cocaine’ was the height of Clapton’s musical genius, and I was half tempted to slap you for being such a moron, but then you looked at me with those beautiful eyes and thanked me for wanting to be your friend. And I realized how much you needed a friend. So I decided to not act on my feelings.”

“Fuck,” was all Tony could think to say. 

Rhodey sputtered a laugh into Tony’s neck, and started kissing his skin, delicately. Tony could feel the warmth of his breath and it was delicious.

“So this whole time, we both? We both wanted this?”

“Mhmm,” Rhodey muttered into his ear. 

“Fuck,” Tony repeated. 

Rhodey laughed even harder, and it made Tony’s stomach drop. This was actually happening. Rhodey was holding him in this empty stairwell, kissing his neck and laughing at his typical inability to form words when it actually mattered. This, right here, was something Tony had dreamed about for months. Well, maybe not exactly like this, but it was close enough and fuck, it was real. 

He was equal parts thrilled and terrified.

“What the fuck do we do now?” Tony asked hesitantly. 

Pulling back from nuzzling his neck, Rhodey stared down at Tony. He looked exactly how Tony felt--confused and scared and a little turned on. 

“I guess we should go back upstairs. I think I found the notebook by the way. I found two identical ones and was trying to sort out which was the project notes when you came back.”

“Oh, well that’d good.” Tony’s said quietly. He was still struggling to process everything that had just happened, and he’d completely forgotten about the notebook they’d been looking for. 

“And I guess we should talk. There’s a lot we haven’t been telling each other,” Rhodey added pragmatically.

Tony dipped his head, wanting to hide from the shame he felt.

“And maybe I could come visit you over the break.” That made Tony perk up. “It’s gonna be so weird not seeing you for three weeks. We’ve spent pretty much every free moment together.”

“I’d like that,”Tony said, smiling. 

“It’s settled then. We’ll figure out when I can take the train to come see you. I hope your parents don’t mind me staying for a couple days.”

His parents. His parents would be out of town. Fuck. This was going to take some thinking.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m working on a playlist based on songs mentioned in this, and the stuff that I imagine they’d listen to late at night


End file.
